Do you know anyone who’s never needed forgiveness? Have you ever needed to be forgiven for something? Did you ask for that forgiveness? Did you receive it? Did anyone ever refuse to forgive you? And how about you – have you ever refused to forgive someone?
That’s a lot of questions. Yet I believe they are questions that need to be answered – as honestly as we can.
It’s not easy to forgive, is it? We have been hurt in some way and we feel justified in refusing to forgive. After all, why should that person be let off the hook after what he or she has done to us? 
Many of us know by now that the unforgiveness we hold actually hurts ourselves more than it hurts the person from whom we’re withholding forgiveness. And yet, somehow, knowing that does not make forgiveness any easier.
There are several misconceptions we have about forgiveness.
Firstly, we think that to forgive, we must feel forgiving. But that is simply not true. Forgiveness has nothing to do with feeling. It’s a decision we make in spite of our feelings. Jesus didn’t say we must feel like forgiving those who sin against us.
It’s not an easy decision, but vitally necessary. The longer I hold on to unforgiveness against someone, the more bitterness and resentment eat away at me. These negative emotions damage my physical and psychological health.
Another myth is that forgiveness is a one-off decision. It’s not. We’ll probably have to make that decision over and over, maybe for a long time. But every decision makes the next time that much easier. A simple action might help here: when the thought of what that person did to hurt you, rises up in you and you find your emotions starting to churn again, tighten your fists, then slowly release them until your hands are open, while you say out loud, I’m releasing ________.
Then, we also think that if we forgive someone, that person is getting away with what they’ve done. But if you forgive and trust God, He will deal with that one, sometimes in surprising ways, but always redemptively.
No discussion of forgiveness is complete though, without looking at the forgiveness of God. No one has more reason to refuse us forgiveness than He has. We have insulted Him by our wilfull breaking of His laws; by refusing to acknowledge Him as our Creator; by blaspheming His holy Name; by our ingratitude for all His good gifts to us. And much more. He has plenty to hold against us. But He has decided to forgive us.
He decided to take the judgement that our sin deserves and carry it Himself. He paid the price of the death that should have been ours. And He extends to us total forgiveness. Aren’t you glad God didn’t go with His feelings?
And Jesus, the One Who has forgiven you so freely for so much, says that you must freely forgive those who hurt you, gossip about you, treat you unfairly, deceive you, or sin against you in any one of a hundred different ways. It’s a tall order, but He stands ready to give you the grace and ability to do it.
Before you can do that, however, you need to accept and receive His offer of forgiveness for yourself. Will you do that now? And then live a lifestyle of forgiveness.
It’s the most joyful life of all.
light touches 
